6 RTÉ Programmes That Aren't About That, But Should Be
1. Corrigan Knows Food
A warped black comedy about former stockbroker Ryan Corrigan, who after a near-fatal but hilarious accident finds that his food has started talking to him. Is it all in his head, or are his chicken sandwiches really telling him to become a vegan? And how will he cope with the arsewits in PETA? From the people who brought you What Women Want, Doctor Doolittle, and all those Rob Schneider films, probably.
2. Charlie Bird's Arctic Journey
Last in the beuatiful animated series about the amazing adventures of Charlie, the young starling lost in the Arctic after being separated from his family during migration, helped only by Peter Penguin. Will Charlie get home and see his mother again? Will Peter work out what the hell he's doing at the North Pole? Will anyone ever get tired of talking animals? At least two of the questions will soon be resolved.
3. Strangers In Paradise - Why God's Warriors Kill
Latest in the satirical drama about three angels cast out from heaven, who have decided to send evildoers to hell where they belong. This week, Michael ponders the morality of their crusade, while Damien goes on the track of a serial killer - but has he found the right person? Meanwhile, Izaiah's relationship with Susan hits some sort of snag, it's a bit boring but we had to put in so girls would watch.
4. The View
Travel programme in which Michael Palin (preferably, but if we have to use someone Irish we'll get Anna Nolan) looks at the world's greatest and most historical vistas. This week, Michael travels to the Middle East to try and recapture Moses' first view of the Promised Land, and contrasts it with the war-torn region of today. Actually that's quite a good idea, anyone fancies it then I'll accept payment in chocolate Hob-Nobs.
5. Two Wild: Invasion of the Crocodiles.
Bugger it, I'm throwing this one open to the floor for suggestions. The best tagline I've got is "They've finally snapped". Whatever plot you come up with, it'll still sound better than most of Doctor Who: Series 4.
6. Five Women Go Back To Work
Erm - nope, you can't really do anything with that, can you?
A warped black comedy about former stockbroker Ryan Corrigan, who after a near-fatal but hilarious accident finds that his food has started talking to him. Is it all in his head, or are his chicken sandwiches really telling him to become a vegan? And how will he cope with the arsewits in PETA? From the people who brought you What Women Want, Doctor Doolittle, and all those Rob Schneider films, probably.
2. Charlie Bird's Arctic Journey
Last in the beuatiful animated series about the amazing adventures of Charlie, the young starling lost in the Arctic after being separated from his family during migration, helped only by Peter Penguin. Will Charlie get home and see his mother again? Will Peter work out what the hell he's doing at the North Pole? Will anyone ever get tired of talking animals? At least two of the questions will soon be resolved.
3. Strangers In Paradise - Why God's Warriors Kill
Latest in the satirical drama about three angels cast out from heaven, who have decided to send evildoers to hell where they belong. This week, Michael ponders the morality of their crusade, while Damien goes on the track of a serial killer - but has he found the right person? Meanwhile, Izaiah's relationship with Susan hits some sort of snag, it's a bit boring but we had to put in so girls would watch.
4. The View
Travel programme in which Michael Palin (preferably, but if we have to use someone Irish we'll get Anna Nolan) looks at the world's greatest and most historical vistas. This week, Michael travels to the Middle East to try and recapture Moses' first view of the Promised Land, and contrasts it with the war-torn region of today. Actually that's quite a good idea, anyone fancies it then I'll accept payment in chocolate Hob-Nobs.
5. Two Wild: Invasion of the Crocodiles.
Bugger it, I'm throwing this one open to the floor for suggestions. The best tagline I've got is "They've finally snapped". Whatever plot you come up with, it'll still sound better than most of Doctor Who: Series 4.
6. Five Women Go Back To Work
Erm - nope, you can't really do anything with that, can you?
posted by Nyder O'Leary at
22:35
6 Comments:
Five Women Go Back To Work
Docudrama set in the near future. 5 former female politicians Mary Harney, Sile De Valera, Mary Coughlan, Beverley Cooper Flynn and Mary O'Rourke look for real jobs. A tragicomic tour de force.
Step 1. Swap Mary Coughlan for Dana
Step 2. Convince them all they're doing it for charity and that everyone watching is going to love them.
Step 3. Roll cameras
I'd give it a green light right now!
Patricia McKenna appeared on one of those RTÉ everyone-else-does-celebrity-reality-telly-so-we-better-had-to programmes, and lasted approximately ten minutes before getting voted out... that woman loses just about every election she takes part in, and yet she still doesn't get the message.
I'm sold on this show - someone needs to make this happen, right now. Especially if there's a crossover at the end, and they all get eaten by invading alien crocodiles...
Dammit, I mixed up "to" and "too" - slappable offence. Why do I write this thing, again?
Actually it's quite a list of names - no fluff, just giant mega kink-kong beeatcth. Kyle's mum wouldn't even make it on there.
kink-kong? Fuck fuckety fuck. Revenge of the apes...
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