Government in "Bad Class" economic plan

Insiders in the Irish government have leaked their audacious plan to create a "bad" social class, as part of a means of economic recovery. The cost to this has yet to be ascertained by the state, but it is felt within government circles that this is the only way to get the economy back on its feet.

Economists are divided over the plan. One leading Irish economist commented that "It's a very brave manouevre. I think it may work, but they might have difficulty selling it to the electorate.

"The principle of the bad bank is well-established, and the bad class is the same idea. At the moment our society is suffering a money shortage, because there are just too many people who are completely fucked. The government, in the last ten years, has poured a lot of money into trying to service these people, but even after getting all the things that normal people have - mortgages and Nintendo Wiis and stuff like that - they're still working as pickers, packers, and gardeners instead of getting proper jobs like Media Analysts. Effectively, they're a bad credit risk for the rest of us. The "bad class" idea is based on the notion that the government will take over the administration of this class and extract the maximum value from it, leaving the rest of us free of this burden, so we can start borrowing money again.

"Well... for cars, and big tellies, stuff like that... what an odd question! This is always the problem explaining economics to other people, it involves a lot of complex concepts."

One notable FF back-bencher disagreed. "It's a pretty simple idea, yeah? After the budget, there were all these people complaining about families on the minimum wage with 2 kids being in trouble. Look, even before the budget, if you had two kids on the minimum wage, you were fucked anyway. So we might as well take money off them, it's better that the kids die early of malnutrition than going to all the trouble of developing a heroin addiction first.

"The next budget should expand the plan by picking a suitable location for transportation. If we make it easier for the banks to repossess their houses, we can use the housing stock to solve our social housing shortage. None of these people vote anyway, and let's face it, they're all pretty depressing to look at. So everybody wins."

The government are set to create a new agency called the NWMA (National Waste Management Agency) to administer the institution, as part of the budget-inspired programme to control government spending by setting up even more government bodies. Due to stringent immigration rules in most countries it's uncertain where the physical location of the bad class will be, but most commentators are speculating on either Montserrat or Leitrim. However, government sources refused to confirm or deny speculation that the long-term intention is to render this class sterile, but putting drugs in "poor-people foods" like Arctic Roll, jaffa cakes, and chips from chinese takeaways.

Economic analyst and broadcaster David McWilliams was quoted as saying "Are you sure you don't want a quote from me? I'll give you one now if you want. I'll make up a new category of Irishman and everything."

We also contacted Moore McDowell, but just ended up screaming abuse down the phone at him, the fucking twat.